I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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