tell your sister to shave her snatch
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
