I need help removing her.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
