Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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