why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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