I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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