Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize