You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
