And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
