First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Randomize
