take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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