is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
