its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
