does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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