Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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