I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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