Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
