New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
