Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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