the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
