God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
