i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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