Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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