she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize