My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
