We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize