went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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