Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
