the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
