the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
They should really pass out barf bags in church
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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