OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
we made out on top of his cat.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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