So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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