Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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