8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
