I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize