well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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