My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
