Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
