Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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