Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
