This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
