Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
