i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
