I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
