once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The power of my boobs compel you
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