We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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