Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
