we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
