your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
