Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize