so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Come on in and take your pants off
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