I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
