i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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