he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
