all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
