honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
