I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize