hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
