Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
