Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
