just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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