Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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