the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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