dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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