Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize