I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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