You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
then he tried to convert me to islam
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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