So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
