grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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