Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
