Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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