Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
